Future Ben

I’m sorry Orlan. I didn’t mean to front on being the posterchild for post humanism. Just the thought of having two penises induced such a megalomaniacal state that didn’t know what I was saying. You still rock. Having funky bumps on your head and fusing your image with people from different cultures is a far better way to bring us into the post human era that running around with a second penis. There are already too many dicks in the world as it is. You are probably pretty mad and if you don’t ever want to talk to me again I understand. Whatever happens, I want you to know that I am still on your side and anytime you want to get some coffee or chai or mate or whatever it is eurotrash artists drink these days, I’m there for you.

Continuing our dismemberment madness:

In china a man: 1. loses his penis in an accident. 2. gets a BRAND NEW penis from a brain dead man 22 years younger than him. 3. After no complications or tissue rejection demands to have his new penis removed because of psychological trauma and its… (are you ready?) swollen shape. Clearly this man is not ready for the post human era.

It gets me thinking though. What are they doing with the dismembered penis? Can I have it? Despite turning 30 I still have functioning genitalia. (At least I’d like to think so.) But why limit yourself? If there is a spare swollen 22 year old’s penis just floating around why should it go to waste? If that poor bastard would rather go through life without a penis just because he didn’t grow it himself then I will gladly go double barrell. It would take me a step beyond post human artist Orlan and make me the poster child for post humaninsm! I don’t know where you could hang that particular poster though.

I am sorry to say my fictitious trist with Illegal Human Remains Girl is over. I admit we were star crossed from the start. Her an exotic dancer living in a polygamos death cult and I, a bashful struggling futurist. But I had to give a try even if it was only a fantasy.

We met over the internet when her arrest made the news. I never thought I would meet somebody through Boing Boing It was rocky from the begining. I was recovering from a painful breakup, she was in a committed polyamorous sadistic relationship and recieving human remains from her fans. We had our issues. I started to get frustrated when she jumped bail. It was like I was the only one who wanted it to work. And then they caught the young medical student who gave her the hand. It kind of made me check myself. Was this what I had to look forward to? My career in shambles and up to 10 years in prison. It was time for me to reevaluate my priorities.

I thought to myself,”Sure she’s cute…” Oh wait I was just assuming that. I had never seen this girl. Usually I consider it rude to google to somebody without their permission, but she never consulted me before jumping bail so I was a bit mad. An image search for “severed hand woman,” and… It was over.

Come on! You don’t even have dreads or a prominent neck tattoo or facial piercing! What is up with that? At least have some running mascara! I believed in you Illegal Human Remains Girl! I had a whole fictional character and wardrobe that you were supposed to live up to. And you can even be bothered to look all spooky and dangerous then I have one thing to say to you.

Its over!

Yeah, so apparently a huge problem in Africa is that women aren’t producing enough babies for their husbands. You see in many parts of Africa a woman’s entire worth is based on her ability to produce children for men. A woman who reproduce “is worse than a dog.” What could be the answer to this grave social ill? In Vitro Fertilization of course! God forbid we address the issue of the blatant sexism that lets men think its OK to throw their wives onto the street for not producing children. Or maybe the rampant venereal diseases that are left untreated and cause infertilty. Unfortunatel nobody ever made any money promoting social elightenment or public health so the answer is of course to provide affordable IVF for the third world.

How can a world be so ass backward? Where a woman is mutilated at birth, has no access to or knowledge of contraceptives, no treatment for subsequent diseases, and after all of that, despite being the infertile member of a couple only 60% of the time is driven into the street when no babies come from the indentured rape that so often is marriage.

When I grow up I’m moving to Africa to marry a bunch of beautiful but recently divorced ladies and open a university for women. It will be a school with only three majors. Public Health, In Vitro Fertilization and Lesbian Studies.