Everybody knows that I am still nursing my heartache from Illegal Human Remains Girl, but maybe, just maybe lightning does strike twice. I got tired of online personals, maybe my standards were to high, but nobody seemed all that interesting. Then one day a friend, well more of an aquaintence that I had just met on the street, and by “met” I mean “I was suddenly accosted by,” gave me an interesting suggestion.
I thanked Sausagehead the raving street poet, but I still refused to buy his crudely drawn comic book. When I got home I remembered some of his more intelligible words and looked up www.feralchildren.com My life hasn’t been the same since. Her name is Ro Chom and she is one special lady. I don’t want to say she is a diamond in the rough, but it’s hard to think of any other metaphor. I have never met a girl so independant and free before, and while I am not usually one for petite girls, she is still pretty athletic. She even likes hiking and the outdoors, but she is still up for staying up all night and sleeping all day.
Sure, nobody is perfect. Ro Chom’s attention is elusive and she has been too on the go for relationships in the past. It’s also hard to communicate with her sometimes, but that is probably just because she lives so far away. Also, she occasionally flees back into the jungle. My friends think that trying to keep up a relationship like this is irresponsible, but I don’t care. I’ve got a crush on Jungle Girl!
After reading her profile I sent her a letter. I knew she couldn’t read or write, but I figured somebody would read it to her. I was really surprized that she responded quickly. The mail sure works fast these days. I guess since she had no other way of communicating she sent me this picture.

Wow she cleaned up really nice since they found her! She still isn’t much for clothing though. That could be a problem if she comes to visit before summer.
I know what you are thinking. “futureBen, we’ve read the news and Jungle Girl is not exactly relationship material.” That may be true. At first Jungle Girl was pretty shy. Even her own father was a little put off, but I knew there was potential.
Mr Ksor told the Associated Press news agency: “When I saw her, she was naked and walking in a bending-forward position like a monkey . . . she was bare-bones skinny. She was shaking and picking up grains of rice to eat. Her eyes were red like a tiger’s eyes.”
So maybe she needs to eat a bit more. Lots of girls have a negative self image when they are younger, or maybe it was just her highly active lifestyle. Still, tiger eyes…Mee-ow!
What really sealed the deal was the first letter I got from her.
She is so expressive!
People have suggested she might be a little inexperienced for me, but let’s be clear here. Jungle Girl is 27 and despite being feral she is not exactly untouched by man.
Sketchy reports from the remote area suggest that the woman lived wild and alone for years. But according to another report yesterday she had been with a naked male companion, who was armed with a machete when she was caught. She had marks on her arm from being bound, suggesting that she might have been kidnapped and kept for years as a slave.
I’m no one to judge her lifestyle choice. She would fit right in at Burning Man. Honestly, we have all had are share of crazy relationships, and maybe, just maybe together we can leave behind the heartaches of the past and share something real.